Thinking.

I haven't posted for awhile (in case you didn't notice), I don't know what to say.  My musings of late seem to be ones that I mostly want to keep on a less public forum than this.  So I'll try to distill some ideas, thoughts, and feelings that might be of interest.  It being the end of the year and all, who isn't musing at least a little?

1) Self mastery is a bitch! My housemates and I have had the opportunity to do some self discover by way of the enneagram (if you don't know what that is check out this website http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/, it is some very interesting stuff (I'm an 8 if you were wondering)).  We know have several book in the house of which I am able to read that help me dive into my psyche and become a more self-aware me.  To keep it short, the process is long, painful, and an overall pain in the ass (though I am getting a lot out of it or I would not continue).

2) While the holidays are full of joy and blessings, they are also full of pain and heartache.  I don't think our society (religious or secular) on the whole does a very good job of acknowledging how hard the holidays really are for people who have lost someone close to them, or for those who have suffered hardships throughout the year.  I would encourage everyone to ask someone how they are doing in the midst of the season and then really listen to the answer.

3) As I was driving round downtown Omaha recently, enjoying the lights and decorations I found myself asking the question, "How much more money does Omaha spend on electricity during Christmas/ Winter season? and how could that money be redirected to build up more than the appearance of Omaha?" I have no answer but I does make me think a lot about the gap between what people say and what they do.

4) I've been doing adult things for far longer than I was aware, I just thought everyone my age was doing them too

5) The only real control I will ever have in this world is over myself; my actions, my reactions, my words.  I must be careful not to abuse this control most of all.

6) I can't remember the last time I allowed myself to cry uncontrollably. A time when I didn't hold back the snot and salt water and everything else that goes along with that.  Can you?

Thanks for reading
Happy Advent